Thankful Thursdays~ Sabbaticals and Caring for my Soul

If you read last week’s Thankful Thursday you know I mentioned that last year right after my birthday I had a kind of “mini meltdown” that lasted for several months.

I did not “take to the bed” as they say in the South, although I was tempted to.  It was due more to the things I had longed to do that were yet to be done, and the grieving the loss of my parents.

Soon after the mini meltdown I sought out a counselor to help me through this rough spot.

Today on this Thankful Thursday I was thinking about some of the suggestions the counselor gave me.  She suggested maybe I needed a “Sabbatical” and should spend some time “caring for my soul.”  Basically, she wanted me to stop my life in mid-tracks.  She recommended I stop blogging; to stop Thankful Thursdays and other posts.  That was one of the most difficult decisions I had to make. I love writing my posts.  It is a highlight for me.

But for the past six years I tried just about everything to keep my life together: massage, exercise, yoga and loads of vitamins and yes, lots and lots of  prayer, laughter and a dance when Winters or the SONs and I were in the mood for a spin around the kitchen.  At that point I was open to do just about anything and a sabbatical seemed worth a try.

I was pretty certain I was good at “caring for my soul,” but evidently I am not so good at it after all.

God’s grace is sufficient and He has been so faithful to help me walk through the past six years with my parents, moves, job changes and income fluctuations and I give Him all the praise and glory for getting me through!

But I had many questions about my so-called sabbatical and throughout it as well. Some questions were answered and some remain a mystery to me still.  Those of life, family, healing, forgiveness and so much more.  One of my greatest questions remains the same “Lord, where do I go from here?”

So here is how the whole sabbatical thing went.  I tried it and it lasted about 55 day and 59 minutes and 60 seconds.  In case you need more insight and are wondering how that sabbatical went, well, it was a bust.

Rather than feeling better I felt I was barely keeping afloat. I think the therapist thought that was a good thing and I was having a break through.  I thought I was headed for a breakdown from which I would never return.  I will be honest, I think it was crazy, a least for me … I don’t think one can really put their life on hold to truly care for their soul.  Well, that was my conclusion at least.

But here is the good new. I read a load of books, books on grief and grieving,  letting go and getting rid of clutter.  Many of the books made me cry, but that too was a good thing. I returned to yoga and cried every time, which was most often while doing the warrior pose.  Not an easy pose to hide your tears in to say the least.  Honestly,  I felt like anything but a warrior.

The therapist gave me a book on celebrating mid-life which I guess I am  supposedly in the middle of. Yet life with the “The SONs” reminds me more that we are all in the throes of puberty, spelling tests, sports, musicals and starting life over.   There is no empty nest around here, just lots of  tail feathers in my face!

So are we having fun yet?  Let me be honest. That would be a big, No.

Not blogging for months was a big mistake. Even Winters said you have got to start writing, you are a writer. That was huge coming from Winters, The Writer.  Even another counselor I know said “get busy blogging.”

The best part of the whole  sabbatical was realizing how much I love to write and coach, and help others reach their fullest potential.  That is my passion.  So I decided right there and then that there had to be a better way to care for my soul and the sabbatical must come to a screeching halt.

Here is what I believe, the only way I could really have a true sabbatical would be to get on a plane and head straight to Rome or to a cabana in Savannah and experience a  sunset on the beach.  But in all truth I could go to yoga, I could close my door and escape to a moment of silence.  That was the sabbatical I chose.

But really, how does one take a sabbatical and care for their soul when their life is reeling all around them. Life demands our attention.  People demand our attention.  Responsibilities demand our attention.  Again, what doesn’t demand our attention? Even the cats and the dog who thinks she can fly demands my attention.

I did what any smart girl does.  I made some changes and fast.

I decided to totally re-think the whole sabbatical thing. I left the new counselor and celebrate the good she taught and returned to my old counselor. I started writing again and continue to do yoga and cry anyway. I kept reading books as I always had and care for my soul in the midst of my crazy life.

Rather than the whole sabbatical idea I decided to simply “settle” yes, settle,  like a bird settling into her nest.  Just getting comfortable with where I am right here and now. Yes that is it!  Do you have the picture in your mind? You know what I mean I am sure.  It is the fluffing, throwing out of what no longer works in the nest and bringing in what does.  New feathers, new bedding, while creating a safe haven and place to call home.  Settling into the grove of life.

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I pray you are blessed and encouraged on this Thankful Thursday as you carve out a moment for a mini sabbatical rather than a mini meltdown.  Take some time to care for your soul, step into your purpose, create some new memories and celebrate your life!