One of the best way to a fabYOUlous You is by having a healthy marriage and healthy friendships.  I refer to these friendships as the Sacred Few.  They are the inner circle.  Those who you can truly count on through thick and thin.

Today we will just focus on these key areas in our life: marriage and friendship.

These relationships have an enormous impact on our  health, happiness and helping us fulfill our personal passions and purpose.

Here are just some insights that I pray will help you have more healthy and whole relationships for years to come.

#10. Keep the Lines of Communication Open with your Spouse

Women are typically communicators.   It can be one of our greatest strengths, but also one of our greatest weaknesses. We can communicate so well we over communicate.  But we can also assume our husbands read minds or  know what we need because we have been married for many years. So keep the lines of communication open. This is no time for sulking or being passively aggressive.  

No! Sulking and pouting is not for a fabYOUlous girl like you. Remember, timing is everything, so don’t blurt out your needs right when your husband walks in the door from a long hard day at work, (my mom taught me that one) or right when your hubby’s head hits the pillow (I learned this one on my own the hard way!). Timing is everything.   Be sensitive to finding the right time to communicate your needs. But do communicate your needs.

I love the song Say What You Need To Say by John Mayer because there are things that just need to be said.  We need to say what we need to say. Sometimes it will not be easy and sometimes it will, but we must keep the lines of communication open.

There is a saying, “say what you need and get what you want.”  Ask your husband to help.  For example, if you need him to vacuum or help with dinner then ask. And if at first you do not succeed try, try again. Asking for helping is just flat-out a must.

It is not always easy, but is so important in a marriage.  Write an email, write a letter, lock yourselves in your bathroom or go out to dinner, but make sure you are on the same page about life, family and the future. It is a must.

God wants to bless your marriage and well, the bottom line is Satan wants to destroy it.  So protect the marriage at all costs.  One great way to do that is to keep the lines of communications open.  You will be glad because soon he will say what he needs to say and more than likely both of you will know what each other needs and that is critical to your marriage being a success!

#11. The Sacred Few

Surround yourself with the Sacred Few, the women that will walk through life’s journey with you.  They bring you support, wisdom, joy, blessings and casseroles too when you need them! These are the ones you can trust with your innermost secrets.

They know your greatest fears and craziest aspirations.

The Sacred Few are the friends that you can call  on in a moment of crisis.  They will stop everything, right in the middle of whatever they are doing, even turn around in the middle of the road  and go to the aid of your parents because you aren’t in town to help your parents. And yes, that was what a Sacred Few friends did for me. These are the women who do not ask why, but simply, where do you need me.

They will come to your aid and the aid of someone you know  simply because they believe in you. And if you say you need help, then that is all that needs to be said and all they need to know.

They do not question what you need, they simply say ” How can I help”.  They are the friendships that last a lifetime. They are the friends that I want to have in my inner circle.  They are loyal, trustworthy, brave and kind-hearted.  They are the Sacred Few!

These women are critical in  your life.  They are the ones that inspire you to greatness and encourage you to be more than you are. You must make the time to spend the time with these women.  These are crucial to your health and happiness.  These women will listen to the details of  your life story and not once ever ask “does this story have an end”.

Again, make time to be with the Sacred Few.  They will have your back and be on your side through thick and thin.  Find and identify your Sacred Few and stay with them because they will be a blessing!

Be blessed and encouraged abundantly today as we strive to have strong and healthy relationships in our marriage and with the Sacred Few.

During those days I saw some pretty extreme behaviors and unhealthy habits but it was an invaluable education. That is just another reason I have spent much of my life pursuing healthy living.

In graduate school I studied Christian counseling, I focused my course study on Eating Disorders.  But it was back  in 1995 that I started  writing women’s retreats and seminars helping women stay strong – emotionally, spiritually and physically combining all I had been fortunate to learn over the years.

Here are just a few more of my very favorite tips to help you stay healthy and strong.

#6. Exercise and Stretching

Exercise is so important.  We must try to do anything, because anything is better than nothing.  I personally love yoga and Pilates and walking.  But there are times I simply can’t fit that into my day so I at least do stretches and sit up.   I love my 10 and 12 pound weights too. I keep them in my room and I have a routine I try to do during the week if I feel good.

Even just some sit ups and leg stretches are better than forgoing everything.

Grumpy knees ruled out running and spinning classes long ago but  that is fine if that works for you.  I like activities that again are relaxing in nature and calming that is me. Find what you love and go for it.  Exercise is so important to our bodies in the long run.  Exercise today for a healthy you tomorrow.

Remember that even just walking to your car, shopping for shoes, hee, hee and going to the mail box all add up.  They say to aim for 10,000 steps a day.  Mowing the lawn may seem like a drudgery but it is exercise.  So let’s get moving!  especially, because we can and that my dear is a gift.

#7. Making your House a Home

I could go on and on about this but the point is create an environment that makes you feel good and a place where you love to be.  Remember that our home is  a reflection of us and we are a reflection of Christ so our home in turn is a refection of Christ too.

Make it a place where people love to be and can flourish.  May all who enter feel comfortable and feel at home.

Look for colors and fabric that you love.  Surround yourself with things that make you happy and make your heart dance. If you hate the color of wall in your house and you have for years, than Sister, get rid of it!

Celebrate your home.  It is a gift! Enjoy it and share it with others…

#8. Just say no to alcohol

I touched on this last week but just I want you to know that again if by 4:30 you are thinking about happy hour it might be time to say enough is enough! Take a fearless inventory of your life anything that is out of balance must go.  You simply do not have time for it.

I have read a lot of information and if you are remotely concerned it is an issue in your life, let it go and move on’ sister!

#9 Hydrotherapy

AKA Good old hot bath or a hot shower! I think it is a must to help all women relax!   I discovered Dr. Teals Epsom salt RELAX! (or just plain old Epsom salt if you have allergies).  Relax, shut the door and tell your hubby he’s got the kids! Seriously…

You deserve a break to today.  Within twenty or thirty minute you can get some good restoration and  help for your body, mind and spirit.

Light a candle and play some music and be transcended for a moment.

Be blessed and encouraged abundantly today as we continue to stay healthy and strong from the inside out!

~Please excuse any errors the editor was out of the office~

How people perceive us greatly affects how we perceive ourselves. It is just a fact of life.  I wish it wasn’t true, but it is.

People will say things that cut so deep we feel we may never recover.  And sadly, we may not.  It is only through God’s mercy and grace that we can move through hurt, pain and the misconceptions of who people believe we are.

Dear friends, we are not the sum of what others perceive and believe us to be. No. We are the sum of what Jesus Christ says we are!  That is the Truth. Now if I can just get the Sons of Thunder to understand this when others pick on them at school that would be great.  We are working on that!

As you walk life’s journey, remember how God sees you.

“I will give thanks to You for I have been awesome and wonderfully made” Psalm 139:14

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called the children of God. And that is what we are”! John 3:1-2

This is one of my favorite verses!

“We can be confident of this, that he who began a good work in us will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus! Philippians 1:6

Hallelujah and Praise the Lord! God does not perceive you. He knows you. He calls you many things in the Bible and one of  them is “friend!” It does not get any better than that!

Be blessed and encouraged abundantly today as you remember the Truth and not perceptions.

It’s hard when our taxes are due, children are sick, bills must be paid, parents die, and relationships fall apart and yes, even when cars break down. Those issues can affect our attitude and how we feel.  It can affect how we view the world around us as a whole.

Focusing our attention on the blessings of our life is crucial.  If we don’,t it can make it even more difficult to be thankful.

We have all met people who, amidst the trials of life, they walk in a spirit of joy.  They are hopeful and positive and they are a breath of fresh air to be around.  

As we nurture a heart of gratitude we will be healthier and happier people and those around us will reap the benefit.  If we focus too long on the negatives of life, we will become bitter, grumpy and possibly even physically sick – and who wants that! Focusing too long on the hardships of life can just make us hard-hearted, discouraged, depressed and helpless and even hopeless.

So as I said last week, setting aside some time to be thankful can be extremely helpful for you emotionally and spiritually.

Choosing to look at the blessing in our life and how God is providing for us is so important.  Sometimes it is done by simply putting a positive spin on your life.

Here are two scriptures I love that help me focus my attention that way!

Galatians 5:22
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.

Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, and with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

I pray today on this Thankful Thursday you will be reminded of all the blessings and provisions God has made for you.  That you will focus your attention on having a thankful heart.

Rejoice in God’s goodness, mercy, and sustaining grace!

Be blessed and encouraged abundantly today as we walk in thanksgiving and gratitude.

For those of you who know me well, you know I usually think that “more is more” and for the most part, I think stuff  is a good thing. Yet at the same time, sometimes “STUFF” must go!  Sometimes more stuff is just that-  more “Stuff”.

Well, fear not, there is great news for us!  It’s a new year and that is a perfect time to say “out with the old and in with the NEW!”   I am not talking about purging the excesses in your life just so you can start hauling in all kinds of new STUFF.

No, what I am talking about is letting go of the old and embracing the new.  The new things God has for you.  Letting go of  all the old “Stuff” in your life that is weighing you down and holding you back.  

We must be willing to let go of the things that are holding us in bondage and keeping us captive and enslaved.  It is only then that we can be free.   And the only one to bring true freedom is Jesus Christ. For as we know, whom the Son sets free is free indeed!  God is ready and willing to help us. But we must be willing to surrender what is holding us back.

For those of you who follow my blog or have heard me speak, you know the journey I have been through these past four years dealing with my parent’s decline in health, and finally their deaths just within the last 15 months.

We became the “proud” owners of far too many sheds as “Winters” post shows.  Between my parents’ stuff and our stuff and moving back and forth across the country, we simply had too much “Stuff.” I have spent much of the last few years sorting. Sorting stuff.  My mother had a love for “stuff.”  She saw the beauty in everything, hence she had a lot of stuff she loved.  That was her thorn in the flesh, so needless to say she left me a lot to sort.

So as I said I have spent much of the last year sorting.  Sorting feelings, sorting memories and most of all sorting stuff.  I had to sort. It had to be done.  Last week we said farewell to one one of those sheds.  Letting go is a good thing.

But, there have been many days of questions and reflections as I have purged.  The should ofs, the would ofs and the could ofs.  Yet that is simply looking over my shoulder and into the pas. And for the most part, that will get you nowhere fast. And for anyone who has done any amount of sorting/purging,  I am sure you can relate to my pain. It is tedious, frustrating and exhausting.

That is of unless of course unless you are my dear husband. “Winters” loves to clean out.  I think it actually gives him some kind of crazy endorphin rush. And once “Winters” is on a roll, well, it is very likely he may just toss me and the flying dog right out the window.   However, the Sons of Thunder are far to0 fast for him. He can be ruthless when letting go of  stuff. So much for seeing the beauty in everything!  I admire that in him – as long as he doesn’t touch my stuff.

Now a word of caution as you sort through the “Stuff”. As I already mentioned, it is impossible not to sort through memories too.  And as you sort through the memories a flood of them will probably come  flying at you.

It’s like when you open a closet, a closet that is suddenly packed full of stuff and right after you told The Sons to pick up their rooms.

This would be the #2 Son of Thunder.  He is a genius in this regard.  Sometimes number #2 Son hides stuff so well we can’t find it for a year.  Sadly, we do the same thing with feelings, memories and the pains of our life too.  Sometimes we  hide, stuff and shove it because we don’t want to deal with it or we simply don’t know how to. The “Stuff” that is.

But the “Stuff” always has a way of getting out and cluttering up and complicating our lives.  So we must deal with it.  It has to be done.

OK, so here is the bottom line.  We all have “Stuff.”  Your stuff may literally be stuff, but maybe not. Your stuff might be overeating, overspending, over drinking or over whatever (you fill in the blank).  We all have stuff  to work through.  But today is the day to start dealing with the “STUFF”.

I encourage you to get busy living!  Living the life God has called you to fulfill for His glory.  Let go of the past and the” Stuff” that is holding you back.  The clutter, the junk, the pain of the past or whatever your thorn in the flesh is. Let it go!  If you can’t in your own strength do it, then ask God to help. But now is the time.  Today is the Day.

I am talking about those life changing goals and plans.  As I said in another post, ask yourself what can you do today that will change your life forever tomorrow?   Maybe this is the year to really commit to go deep with God. Your drug of choice may be shopping to feel good and get your high.  You may use alcohol  as an emotional manager and to numb your pain in your life.  Whatever you are doing to an extreme has got to come to a screeching halt.  And dear friend, this year is as good as any to start afresh and anew.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. So go for it!

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

Really sweet friends, today is the day to make a new choice to will alter the course of your life and your future forever. Today is the day to not do the same thing over again and expect a different result. Do something different!

This may sound hard. But the God of the Universe, the Lord of Lords and King of Kings will help you. His word says” Ask and you will receive. Knock and the door shall be opened”.

Here is a simple prayer that you may use as a guide to ask Jesus for help.  I have prayed something like this a million times. It is a guide to help you if you need it.

Dear Jesus, I ask that you help me as I lay down the things in my life that are holding me back from living the abundant life and the life you have for me.  Give me strength and courage to make new choices that are healthy ones.  Increase my faith and help me Lord to walk fully in you. Deliever me Lord from my “Stuff” and my addictions and dependencies that I have put before you.  Heal me Lord in the name of Jesus and set me free!

Now start right now celebrating  your healing and walk in it!

It is a new day and you are a new creation in Christ.

And remember you are not your mother.  You are not your father. You are not your sister or your brother.  You are You.  You are not defined by anyone but Jesus Christ and He alone.  He, my friends, calls you glorious!

This is your year to be changed and to step into the new.

Embrace your life with hope and expectancy!

This is the year for God to fulfill the dreams he has birthed in your heart .

You can do it!

Be blessed and encouraged, dear friend

You are a gift!

We would probably all agree that change is usually hard.  Whether it is starting an exercise program, eating healthier, stopping an addictive behavior or even just beginning to attend church regularly.  Any new choice is said to take 20 days to become a new habit.  But the first step is making that new choice!  Having an accountability partner to support you in your new life style choices is key too.

The Alcoholic’s Anonymous motto puts it so perfectly. “Take it one day at a time.”  When we look at changing a habit, it is much easier if we deal with the issue only one day at a time.  Often times it is especially difficult if a behavior has taken a hold in your life , for example alcoholism or smoking.  Letting go of certain habits for some makes getting through even one hour of the day a Herculean task.  But there is hope, God will give you the strength to get through this day and face tomorrow.  He can help you start over again and live the life you desire.

One of my favorite verses is Matthew 6:33-34 says ”But seek first the kingdom of God and all his righteousness, and all these things shall be given unto you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.   Each day has enough worry of its own.” This scripture always helps me keep thing in perspective.

God also says in His word that ‘”He will give you the desires of your heart.” If your desire is to make a change in your life today, God will empower you and give you the strength to do it.  His word also says “What so ever you desire in your heart ask and it shall be done for you”. God wants to walk with you each step of the way!  Take the first step today, to make a change in your life, which will lead to a new tomorrow!

You can do it dear friend, the God of this Universe and His son Jesus Christ are on your side!  Stay in prayer and in God’s word.  Freedom awaits you.

It is a new Day.

Start today and live free!