True love, for the most part, doesn’t look like  Hollywood’s portrayal, but of course we already know that.  It looks more like two people stealing a kiss in the laundry room, a husband sorting socks, and parents praying together over their sick child.   It looks more like putting your lover’s needs before your own and a husband holding his wife as her mother goes to be with the Lord.

Love looks like commitment, just like the commitment God made to us. For the Christian, there is no greater example of true love than that of Jesus Christ.  His death on the cross for our sins demonstrated true love.  Easter is the ultimate reminder of true love.  Jesus’ death on the cross for each of us was so we could truly experience the truest kind of love.

In marriage, true love looks like a covenant between two people who through determination, forgiveness and unselfishness choose to walk daily through this journey of life together for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in much and in little.

It looks like ‘wither thou goest I will go” be it ALASKA!!!, Nebraska, Georgia or even Oklahoma.  It looks like my parents and the “writer’s” parents.  Couples who decided that no matter what, they were in this for the long haul.  Each of our parents have spent fifty years loving, learning  ,growing and forgiving.

I know it wasn’t always perfect for my parents, but what I also know is that they had a steadfast commitment to each other and to the Lord that no matter what, they would persevere.  They worked hard on their marriage.  They knew God was their source and they made church a part of their commitment. Remember that true love is honest, open and willing to change for the betterment of the relationship and their spouse.

True love still finds time to swing from chandeliers, well l… maybe not so much chandeliers but definitely time for love. Sometimes there are bells and whistles, but sometimes there is simply silence. But there must be time for intimacy.  Time for family.  Time for friends.  Time to simply BE.

Life is not easy on marriages.  In fact, I have always said that life pulls us apart and rarely pulls us together.  But we must strive to be close, whether we can afford a vacation or simply a quite dinner at home.  We must choose each day whom we will love and we must choose this day whom we will serve.

We must lay down our selfish nature and decide to be unselfish.  Most of the time marriage isn’t glamorous.  It is in the “sticktoiveness” that we celebrate oneness.  Best friends maybe, maybe not.  But a friend that speaks the truth in love.  A friend that seeks your best above their own, a friend that will lay down his life for a friend.  That is the kind of true love I have found.

We are reminded in God’s word what true love really looks like and a bench mark to strive for.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth.  it always protects, always trusts, always hopes always preservers.  Love never fails.

May we all strive for true love in our hearts and in our homes!

So here’s to true love.

May you experience it today for yourself.

I returned home one afternoon and the editor lovingly informed me that the pot had broken.  Now you know the first question always is, “How badly has it been broken?”  Next question, “ Can it be repaired or is it hopeless?”  Well, the editor was so kind.  He had saved all the pieces.. at least all the ones he could find.  He said he knew I would try to put it together although it certainly looked hopeless.

So the number 1 Son of  Thunder, who is a master at putting together everything  from puzzles to Legos… attempted the impossible.  He and I gathered all the necessary materials to glue the pot back together.  Every time I would apply the glue, it just made me sick it had broken. I had owned this wonderful new pot less than a week and I never got to enjoy it. I was certain it was going to be perfect in our cottage.

The number 1 son, did a masterful job of helping me glue the pot back together.  It is still pretty, albeit broken.  A couple of pieces are still  missing but  it is together… give or take a few little pieces.  I placed the reconstructed pot in the corner under a table in the living room.   The backside is really bad but the front looks pretty darn good.

Being gone for a few days, I returned home and as I sat in the living room and noticed the pot, I thought to myself, “We are ALL like  broken pots.” I couldn’t help but feel there was a life lesson in my pot as well as a constant reminder of our need for a Savior.  A life lesson just waiting to be shared.  I was reminded that we are ALL  just like broken pots held together by a loving and merciful God.  God can take something broken and put it back together and make it look pretty darn good!  It will always be broken but it can be beautiful again.  As the popular song says ” Broken but Beautiful.”  God thinks we are both beautiful and valuable.   He can and will use us, even if we are broken.

So when you find yourself broken and in need of  healing , remember that the loving touch of the one true healer, Jesus, is always available.  You can never be too broken for God. If anything  the more broken we are, the better.   Our scars remain but we will never forget who put us back together again.  Being mended takes patience.  Just like my pot, it was broken but it is still beautiful.  It is in our brokenness that we really understand the power of our almighty God.

Remember, dear friend,  You can never be too broken for God.  Our brokenness can be beautiful and unforgettable , but it is in our healing we have the opportunity for our greatest testimony!

If  I couldn’t cry, I would have already had that nervous breakdown, scheduled or unscheduled.   I would eat my weight in chocolate all day and night long and unfortunately, I would not want just ANY chocolate,  it must be Lindt Lindor or Godiva!  So financial issues would also arise from being a chocoholic.

With the loss of my mom and the No. 2 Son of Thunder being so sick, tears have been my friend this past year in addition to  praying whenever and wherever I can.   I must confess that shoes have helped too.  I know it sounds a bit shallow.  OK, so I KNOW it is shallow, but it has helped with so much sadness, sickness and loss. When you find a killer pair of shoes, it is almost impossible to cry.  Unless, of course,  you cry because the shoes are so incredible!   I, personally, have never cried over a pair of shoes, but  I have  talked to my shoes.  Now I know that sounds pretty incredible, but once “the editor” ( AKA my husband) caught me in my closet admiring an unbelievably beautiful pair of brown suede 3 1/2 inch pumps.  They were FABULOUS!  I had gotten them for a steal at Steinmart.  It was a bit awkward to be discovered in the closet, talking to my shoes… but they were glorious and that is all I was saying,  alone  in the closet, with my new shoes…..  Ok, that does sound pretty funny like MAYBE a possible nervous breakdown. I have not been talking to my shoes lately, but a few friends have stepped into my closet to check out my latest acquisitions. Plural – that is correct.  The shoes and purses I have acquired through the years are a feast for the eyes and  they do make me happy.  Again shallow but true. Happy. happy. happy. happy……

It takes a shopaholic and purseaholic to appreciate an unbelievable pair of pumps or fine purse.  The editor doesn’t get it and doesn’t want to get it.  However, he does love seeing the ” little black dress” in her pumps!  Then he gets it!

So when the going gets tough, the tough buy pumps.  But only when they can pay cash.  No debt for the modern sophisticated women.  Remember…(the editor’s justflipthedog.com)..ok..ok ..ok.. I am still working on that checkbook thing, slowly but surely I will get it!

One must remember that a strong sophisticated woman of faith prays for divine intervention over the right price for the right accessories!  By the way did I tell you about the new purse I got for Christmas.  You would love it!   It is devine!  Happy New Year, Happy crying and Happy shopping!

We made a decision in December of last year to move back to Oklahoma to be near my aging parents who had been struggling with dementia and Alzheimer’s.  (You can read more about that in SANDWICHED IN.)  However, due to my parents’ rapid decline, we subsequently moved my parents to be near my brother in Denver.   We decided to keep our plans to return to Oklahoma and begin to build a new life.  The path continued to change along the way and it didn’t look quite like we had thought it would.  We have celebrated and trusted that God was still on the throne and that none of this was taking God by surprise.   It, however, was taking us a bit by surprise.  Mom passed way in June, and as my husband so appropriately put it on his blog, Just Flip the Dog, she was  escorted to heaven by a legion of angels.  I was in Georgia at the time, preparing for the move on June 16th. That story is for another day.

My birthday is about one month away and as I spoke to a dear friend  recently she said,” I bet you can’t wait until your birthday.  It has to be a good year considering how hard this one has been.”  I had to agree with her.  It has to be better.  Change and growth are never easy but that is just a part of life and as my Father say “Struggles make us stronger”.  God has been faithful to me and to my family and He has made stronger.   I have learned so much about myself, my family and my friends through this experience.  I have learned much about God’s faithfulness,  His compassion and His sovereignty.

When I am overwhelmed by the events of this last year and the loss of my mom, I think about one of her favorite songs, Put on the Garment of Praise for the Spirit of Heaviness. Mom loved this CD intitled Revival in Belfast.

The song is based on the scripture Isaiah 61: 3. I read that scripture yesterday and was reminded as I read, that Isaiah 61 is called The Year of the Lord’s Favor. How appropriate for a woman who needs a new year and how appropriate for each of us. If you to need a new fresh start this is a must read!  I want to share a few of my favorite verses with you but I hope you will want to take a moment to read this great passage in its entirety.  I promise it will be a blessing to you as it was to me.

Isaiah 61:2-3 To proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn.     Verse 3: And provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes.  The oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of splendor.  Verse 7 :   Instead of their shame, my people will receive a double portion. Verse 10: I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God, For he has clothed me with garments of Salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness.

My prayer for you today, dear friend, is that God will give you what you need this week and this year will present the opportunity to fulfill the call that the Lord has on your life.  I pray he will give you the strength to serve those around you.  My experience has been that if we don’t have it to give, we can’t give it.  No matter if that is love or even just a kind word.    So I pray God will fill you up with an abundance of compassion, grace,  and mercy.   I pray you will truly experience the Year of the Lords Favor!

My mother had carried on Grandma Schiederman’s tradition of forging a friendship that would endure a lifetime.  We survived boyfriends, pageants, college and thousands of miles of separation.   That was the kind of friend my mother was and on June 8, 2009, I said goodbye to my best friend.  I have not posted anything new since April, because I simply could not find the words.   If you have read ”Sandwiched In”, then you already know this but for those of you who have not,  the last 5 years my mother fought  the disease of Alzheimer’s, dementia, and/or Parkinson.  The doctors, and even my brother and I, aren’t really sure or can’t really agree what exact disease mom suffered from.

Whatever it was ,the the illness snatched my mother’s ability to speak in full sentences and by the end, she could say very little .  She could barely write either. This  is so ironic for a women who loved to talk, pray and tell the most detailed stories.  The kind of stories that my father would ask if they had an ending.  She was an amazing artist too. To see her lose her ability to draw, paint and create, was heart breaking.  But in the midst of all of this, my mother still radiated the love of Jesus.  She never lost her ability to say, “ I love you” and flash a beautiful smile.

As believers, we are to live a life that is a testimony to the world of the awesome saving grace of Jesus.  I once heard it said that “the ever present world is watching.”  The world is watching to see how we handle  “the good, the bad and the ugly.”  Mother tried to live a life that was pleasing and honorable to the Lord.  She saw the good in everyone and she knew no stranger.  Not only did she live a life that honored God, but so did the countless friends that walked through the valley of the shadow with us.  We have seen that God’s love endures forever.

I have been walking this journey of loss and have been saying good bye to this dear friend for almost 5 years now.  When you lose your mother,  a dear friend as this one, the goodbye is never really final.  Some say it will get easier and some say that you never get over it.  Having three boys which we fondly refer to as the “Sons of Thunder”,  it seems an even stronger reminder that she will no longer be a part of their lives either.

I once heard someone say that the reason we get married or develop close friendships is so that they can be a witness to our lives. They will say your life mattered and it will not go unnoticed.  They will say I will remember you and all you have done.  I will be a witness to your life and testify to the difference you made in this world.  Well, dear friends, I can testify to the life of Eddi Carlin, my mother and my friend.  I can say without hesitation how proud I am to have been  her daughter.  How honored I am when people think I look  like her, act like her or possess some of her gifts.

I can testify that her impact on my life  and the lives of others,  was unforgettable.  I can testify to her amazing gifts, to forgive, to embrace and to celebrate the beauty around her.  I miss her smile, her amazing unending support and encouragement.  I was the blessed one to have such an awesome mother.  She was transparent, real, honest and passionate about the Lord.  I have been so blessed to be so loved.  Anytime I told her I was planning to do something,  she always came back with “Go for it,  You can do that.”   She empowered me to believe in myself and the gifts God had given me.

I am too young to lose my mother, my friend, my encourager, and even if I lived to be 120 years old,  it would have been too soon .  She had a word of wisdom for just about everything. She knew no stranger and was an encourager to all those around her.

“Death is so inconvenient.  We try to live and love and it comes and interrupts.”  I heard these lyrics nine years ago, by Sara Groves, on her beautiful CD Conversation.   These words resonate in my spirit so much  since mother’s death.  As my mother slipped away,  I had so much more I wanted to say.  Mother’s body was tired and the nursing home and the moves were just too much for her.  So for me, there is peace and solace in knowing that in my sweet mother’s death, she was given life and freedom and a new life in the fellowship of our Lord and Savior.  The lyrics continue with ” What I know from God’s word is to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord and what I know of Him, that must be really good.”

  One dear friend sent me this following scripture and prayer before I began the hardest part of  my life’s journey thus far - dealing with my parents’ Alzheimer’s, my husband leaving his job after 23 years and us deciding to return to our home state to be closer to our families. Change and transition are an ever present part of the journey.   

  Whatever we are going through in our life we must remember it is not taking God by surprise.  He knows right where you are and what you are going through.  So stand firm!   Our God is mighty to save.  I pray this will be a blessing to you as much as it has been to me.

This was seen posted on a mirror in Austin, Texas… a bit of inspiration.                                                                                                                                                                      

 Zephaniah 3:17  “The Lord your God is with you.  He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you.  He will quiet you with His love.  He will rejoice over you with singing.”

Lord God, You have called your servants to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown.  Give us the faith to go out with good courage, not knowing where we go, but only that your hand is leading us and your love is supporting us.  Through Jesus Christ our Lord we pray with confidant assurance.  Amen. 

The Lord bless you this Day.