My November 10th, 2010 was to be a day spent with two dear friends celebrating my belated birthday in a quaint little town in Georgia.  Although the day was to be  filled with fun and laughter it was bitter-sweet.  Moments before we were heading out the door, a call came from my brother breaking the news that my father had been found the night before in his nursing home kneeling by his sofa and safe in the arms of Jesus.

It is hard to believe that it has been a year since he died’ my mom died not too long before him.   So at this time last year I spent the following weeks preparing.  As others prepared for Thanksgiving  Day, mine was spent planning a memorial service, the flowers, the food, the guest book, the hotel and a rude inconsiderate funeral home.  On Thanksgiving Eve Winters and I and the Sons were at the Sushi Train in Tulsa, Oklahoma, with my brother and his family and some faithful friends. One of our all-time favorite restaurant and a place to celebrate family and friends.

It is still all a bit surreal as I look back on it.  No one wants to go to a memorial service the day before Thanksgiving, but sometimes that is where you find yourself and friends who love you gather with you even when they have other things to do. For that, I am forever grateful.

So on this Thankful Thursday I am thankful for many things, but most of all the love of a Father and a Mother who loved me and told me so. Sometimes as parents we get busy and caught up in life and we  forget to stop and tell those we love how important and special they are to us.

My home growing up was filled with many things and the expression of love was indeed the strongest.  My father was very gracious with his money and paid for my college education and my Masters Program.  It was a gift and I was always grateful for their support. I remember my father, not for his mone,y but that I can never remember a conversation not ending with “we love you and are so proud of you.”  My mom would always add how special I was. No wonder I felt so good about myself.

In the Legacy of the Three Gifts, the message I share in churches, I tell about the greatest gifts my parents bestowed on me. One of those is the gift of encouragement or the biblical term exhortation. It is an awesome and powerful gift to have.

The soul cries out to be loved. To be affirmed.  It just does.  And the heart seeks it and it is not easy for everyone.  We must seek God’s approval above all.  We love to cast blame.  We love to blame others for our shortcomings or why we are like we are.

My father had ever right to be a bad father.  He had every right to parent poorly and blame it on his father’s abuse.  But Daddy chose to be different, to be better, to be the best Dad he could be. He wasn’t a perfect father, but he did an incredible job and the best he could.  He knew very little about God when I was a young child, but that which he knew he imparted to me.  As a little girl I remember sitting at his feet with my brother on Sunday mornings and my mother by his side teaching me about Jesus. When he later gave his life to Christ, he then dug even deeper into the word and had even more to give.

How will you be remembered?

On this Thankful Thursday I miss those powerful life-giving words of encouragement.  I could sure use them, but years of love and encouragement changed me and yes empowered me to be a better women! Those life giving words of love and approval sustain me!  I encourage you to do better, be better and live a life where you take responsibilities for your failures and short comings and you choose by the grace of God to rise above and be the better man or women. Do your best to give life and love and hope to those around you. Remember life is short and we will not pass this way again.

And if as you read this you think to yourself – I did not grow up in a loving home – then remember it is now your opportunity to live a different life and create the kind of life  you want for those you love.

When you can impart love and encouragement, do it. Don’t hold back and whatever opportunity God gives you this Thankful Thursday do it boldly for Him.   Ask yourself how do I want to be remembered by my children and by others.  What will my legacy be?

Remember we are called to holiness and greatness in Christ!  As parents we are pillars in the lives of our children. Pillars ground us and make us stronger. Pillars hold bridges, houses and tall skyscrapers.  Pillars allow us to do things we ordinarily could not do.

But pillars can often be weak and break.   What kind of pillar are you?  Strong and sturdy or weak and unstable.  Be a pillar of strength and love!  And most of all on this Thankful Thursday may we remember that we will be remembered.  Yes remembered by those we leave behind.  Ask yourself today the tough questions, “How am I doing with what God has in trusted to me?”  ”Will I be remembered as a women of faith? of Love? of Hope?” We must invest our time and life in eternal things because the rest is all hay, wood and stubble and will eventually be burned away.

So on this Thankful Thursday be blessed and encouraged abundantly today as we celebrate the  lives of those we love and creating the kind of legacy we want to leave behind!

I know I have said that a million times.

But they do.  And yesterday, on Facebook I posted a song by JJ Heller that always moves me.  It is appropriately entitled “What does love really mean”.  The singers sweet voice and the powerful words always touches me so deeply.  When I need a pick me up and a quick reminder of  the true love I go to YouTube, type in one of two songs this being one of them and I am inspired all over again…

What does love really mean?

Most often we define love as we understand love to be, in our earthly finite minds…

Love can mean many things to many people but to the believer it is a distinct kind of Love.  A love that represents forgiveness, faith, restoration and unconditional love.  True love we can hardly be comprehend.

We can get so caught up in seeking love from others that we seek love the wrong way.  We can seek it through sex when what we really wanted was love and not sex at all.  We seek love through wanting approval so we seek love through our work and become a work Alcoholic. The thought being, if I give all of myself to them, then they will love me or if I am successful and rich then they will love me.

It makes me sad just thinking about it because that is a counterfeit love. That is a love based on doing something to get something in return or love based on our performance.   But that is not love.  True love says “I love you no matter what” and “I will love you for you” for richer or poorer and in sickness and in health. I simply value you. You as person.  I am not saying we shouldn’t work to improve ourselves but we should not do it  just so someone will love us more.

But again so often we feel loved  for “what we do” and “how we do it”.

We seek approval Love.  The “I know they will love me when I’m thinner, more successful, get that promotion or when others think I ‘m important again”.  But that is not really love, is it?

No, that is not true love.

True love says your important no matter what.  You are so important just because you are you… That is God’s kind of true love.

And just because the world doesn’t recognize it, or a boss doesn’t acknowledge it or your parent doesn’t see it, doesn’t make  you any less valuable.  You are important just for being you!

In the bible God talks about unconditional love~ Unconditional love is when we love someone regardless of their qualities or actions.

The beautiful thing is that no one is to far from the love, grace and mercy of God.  Sometimes it is hard to wrap our heads around it but God  loves the liar, the drunkard, the adulterer, mistress, the thief, the murder, the hopeless shop clerk, the person who abandoned you, the parent who let you down all those years ago, the child who disappointed you and He loves you and me too.  His love is far and deep and very, very wide.

We live in a world with lost and deceived people and lost people will hurt you.  Frankly, even saved people will hurt you. But that does not mean we can’t pray for them and that God can’t change them. And if we sin, brokenness, or hurt in our lives we must also pray that God heal us too.

Now let me be clear God hates the sin but He loves the sinner.

He died on the cross for all of us.  The good, the bad and the ugly. Let’s remember when hanging on the cross Jesus said to the one thief  ”Today you will be in paradise with me”.  He promised the thief hope and cared for His soul.  He will care for yours too.

Today on this Thankful Thursday don’t let your heart be full of hurt or even conditional love for others.

If someone has wounded you so deep you see no signs of ever recovering.  Let is go.  Pray for them and pray they will have an encounter with the our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ because no one is to far from the grasp of  Jesus!

Let go of the pain that is holding you back from living the life God has for you. Celebrate that He loves you for you and stop trying to earn love or earn grace.  It is a gift God-lovingly gives because He first loved us, we can love others.

On this Thankful Thursday be thankful for a savior who loves you no matter what.

Don’t waste one more minute of your life in regret. Regretting that someone did not love you or treat you better!

Because, my sweet sister, you have the greatest gift of true love ever in the Son of God!

I love remembering that Jesus will love me for me! Not for what I have done or what I will be become…I needed to be reminded of this again and just thought someone else today might need to be reminded of it too!

No one is to far from the loving touch of our savior not even you or me.

Jesus loves you dear friend! Listen to the Lord as He says to you I will love you for you! Just You! Not for your education, your looks, your income, your position, your power, or talent but I love you for YOU!

Be blessed and encouraged abundantly today as you remember and celebrate that you are loved. Now walk in love!

Check out video on my Facebook page or on you tube it will bless you! JJ Heller What Love Really Means!

You might see some typo’s Winters was out of the office… Sorry…

Daddy treated me like a princess.  He did things a prince would do for his princess. He bought me a horse when I was just 6 years old, built my brother and I the best puppet theater any child could ever want.  He loved us.  He hugged us and he told us how special and gifted we were.

He made sure we had cars to drive and he sent my brother and I to college and paid for Graduate School too.  He actually did more than many princes would do.

He was a  teacher, a mentor and a friend.

I had decided early on that I wanted to marry my prince like most little girls do. I was determine Daddy was the man for me!  When my mother broke the news that I couldn’t marry him, I was pretty devastated.  I think right then and there I made up my mind I wanted to marry someone just like the first prince charming I ever knew.  Thank God “Winters” finally came along.  (There was no pressure on him at all)

Daddy was serious and yet he was funny.  He was smart. Actually, he was really wise.  He loved music.   He loved the theater and musicals.  I can’t tell you how many times I have seen Paint your Wagon, Hello Dolly and Calamity Jane.  He loved hot tea every morning and his favorite candy was licorice, circus peanuts and orange slices. He enjoyed one nice glass of wine straight out of the box with Fritos every night after work while he read the paper. Funny what you remember.

He was indeed a man of wise words and he imparted one of those wise words to a boyfriend of mine once – as said boyfriend sat in daddy’s favorite chair. When dad arrived home from work and saw my boyfriend, he said, “Son, do yourself a favor and remember you never sit in a man’s chair or park in his parking place.” That boyfriend flew out of the chair and never sat there again.

However, once “Winters” came along he was the only man in my life daddy allowed to sit in his chair.  He never once asked him to move. “Winters” always offered, but daddy always said “sit, you’re fine”.  That was his seal of approval and need I say more.

My dad was a man’s man, but had such a tender side too.  I can see why my mother fell in love with him and how they made it 50 years.

Mommy said that during the Vietnam War everyone was buying shelters, but Daddy came home with a new station white wagon instead.

He also loved good music and good food.  He loved steak. That was until he had two heart attacks and he decided he loved life more.

He was a gift to me.

For some reason when I was little I loved to call him, Dr. A. Carlin, but his middle name was Owen.  Mom said I just made it up one day out of the blue.  She said he loved it.  I have  little notes telling him how much I loved him addressed that way.  Funny what you hang onto isn’t it?

Daddy was raised in Tulsa and did not have an easy childhood. His father was an abusive alcoholic, but it did not stop daddy’s drive and passion to find God or his desire for a happy family of his own one day. I believe he choose as a child to be a different kind of man. He struggled in school academically and failed the fourth grade.  But that too did not stop him from fulfilling his childhood dream of becoming a veterinarian.

He was not perfect and in fact he made some pretty big mistakes in his lifetime.  But he worked hard to make up for those mistakes. He worked too hard actually and did not retire soon enough, but that is just the way things go sometimes.

After one of those big mistakes in 1979, which nearly brought him to ruin, and after several years of working almost day and night to make this business decision a good one, Daddy was at the end of his rope. While driving home he was plotting how to kill himself.  The only caveat was he was trying to figure out how he could still take care of all of us with the insurance.  The irony is that the worst decision of his life became his best, because on that May 11th day daddy wrote in daily journal, “that he gave his life to Jesus whole heartedly without any reservation to the Lord”.

I had a bible and he took it and dove in.  He marked it up and studied it up one side and down the other.  I wish I had it, but somewhere along the way it was lost.  He loved the Lord and teaching God’s word.  He even pastored a church for about 6 years while he was still running his veterinary practice at the age of 63.

Daddy did love to travel and would load us up like the Grizwalls in the motion picture “Vacation” every summer.  My brother, Scott  and I could have written that movie hands down. ” Winters” loves to tease me about the great ball of string and the corn palace. I think he is just jealous.

It is funny, I rarely if  ever heard my father swear, instead he would say “fooey”.  It was quit funny coming from a big old guy like him. He tried very hard to be a man of bravery, chivalry and honor.  Daddy was like an old sage.  He was full of knowledge and wisdom about life and all its particulars.  I looked to him for years for guidance and advice again until I got married. But he still had a wise word when the princess needed a bit of encouragement and direction.

I loved to work at his veterinary clinic as his “assistant” from the time I was just able to walk.  I helped him put on his sterile gloves right before surgery once.  I was not so helpful that day but I did deliver a kitten and I even organized a burial for one of his former cat patients after daddy went to the nursing home.  That is a story in itself…..

Daddy was an inventor.  The Sons of Thunder have his gifts. He made a rope swing for the Sons one year.  They thought he was so cool and he was.

When daddy’s memory started to go it was so unbelievable to all of us. We lived 1,000 miles away and really couldn’t gauge the situation nor its full impact.  We simply couldn’t wrap our heads around it.  One conversation I had with him in June of 2008, I told him how concerned I was about his memory loss.  I explained that he was simply not remembering and how this was affecting he and my mother.  He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said “You are describing a man in trouble and that man is me”.

So wise he was, yet moments later he could not remember our talk at all.  In fact I believe it was that same trip he asked me to leave his home and never come back.  The princess was being banished, of course moments later he had forgotten  all that too.  But not the princess.  With all his knowledge and wisdom, he could not save himself and we couldn’t  save him either.  Sadly, he was much sicker than we knew.  The effects of  dementia and mini strokes  or what ever else it was had completely impaired his short-term memory and  had taken hold.

My father and I rarely had cross words over the course of my life, but in the last three years that changed.  We had many sad and very difficult conversations. My friends would always remind me it was the “disease talking.”  I knew they were right but that didn’t really make it any easier. In August of 2008 we basically dismantled my parents’ lives together of 50 years. And we did it in less than 24 hours after getting emergency guardianship.

Putting my father in a psychiatric ward was incomprehensible to me, but that is what we had to do.  We then got dad and mom transferred to an assisted living facility for full-time care.   When the princess must lock away her prince there are really no words that can describe the grief and pain that brings.

In “the moment” he was  good!, but only  in the moment.”  Talking to him would break my heart and not talking to him broke my heart too. So a part of my heart was broken all the time.  Life is hard and in one of those ” in the moment ” conversations with Daddy, he reminded me that our “struggles make us stronger.”  My brother and I and our spouses and our children have indeed struggled this four years, but I am indeed stronger.  So if my story will bring some comfort to another then I pray God will use it.

I will so miss daddy saying “How is my girl”  and  “I am so proud of you” – his words spoke life and encouragement.  My parents sweet words of encouragement were  like a cold drink of water for a thirsty old soul

The loss of my sweet Prince Charming -  my sweet Daddy, is really unbelievable as it is for any princess.

Daddy was great with “Winters,” they had a mutual respect and appreciation.  Daddy was great with the my boys “the Sons of Thunder” and dinnertime was always very memorable.  He made them laugh and he loved to share his wisdom.  When “Winters” finally decided to write his book “Everyone Needs  A Sam” about seeking wisdom, Godly advise and being a mentor, I knew he was certainly on to something.   It seemed like a the perfect thing to do because I had been in the presence of these “Sams” since the day I was born.

To know that the “Sons of Thunder” will no longer have this man they called Papa in their life or this women that they called Mi Mi is just more than  I can bear to think about. They are simply too young to know what they have lost and maybe that is a good thing.

As “Winters”  so beautifully put it – ” The circle is now complete”.  This is a milestone in the life of  daughter and every princess when she must say goodbye to her prince forever.

But my sweet Prince Charming  is right where he is supposed to be in the arms of my mother dancing away in Heaven!  And I am certain they are busy about the work of the Lord.

So one prince is gone and one remains

And I am certain I am right where I am supposed to be with the prince that said “I do”  almost eighteen years ago. We continue to dance through the trials of life and sometimes even step on each other’s toes. The princess has no castles, no horses, no fleet of ships, not even one sailboat.

Yet we have each other and we have the Sons of Thunder.

And the legacy, and life, goes on.

True love, for the most part, doesn’t look like  Hollywood’s portrayal, but of course we already know that.  It looks more like two people stealing a kiss in the laundry room, a husband sorting socks, and parents praying together over their sick child.   It looks more like putting your lover’s needs before your own and a husband holding his wife as her mother goes to be with the Lord.

Love looks like commitment, just like the commitment God made to us. For the Christian, there is no greater example of true love than that of Jesus Christ.  His death on the cross for our sins demonstrated true love.  Easter is the ultimate reminder of true love.  Jesus’ death on the cross for each of us was so we could truly experience the truest kind of love.

In marriage, true love looks like a covenant between two people who through determination, forgiveness and unselfishness choose to walk daily through this journey of life together for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in much and in little.

It looks like ‘wither thou goest I will go” be it ALASKA!!!, Nebraska, Georgia or even Oklahoma.  It looks like my parents and the “writer’s” parents.  Couples who decided that no matter what, they were in this for the long haul.  Each of our parents have spent fifty years loving, learning  ,growing and forgiving.

I know it wasn’t always perfect for my parents, but what I also know is that they had a steadfast commitment to each other and to the Lord that no matter what, they would persevere.  They worked hard on their marriage.  They knew God was their source and they made church a part of their commitment. Remember that true love is honest, open and willing to change for the betterment of the relationship and their spouse.

True love still finds time to swing from chandeliers, well l… maybe not so much chandeliers but definitely time for love. Sometimes there are bells and whistles, but sometimes there is simply silence. But there must be time for intimacy.  Time for family.  Time for friends.  Time to simply BE.

Life is not easy on marriages.  In fact, I have always said that life pulls us apart and rarely pulls us together.  But we must strive to be close, whether we can afford a vacation or simply a quite dinner at home.  We must choose each day whom we will love and we must choose this day whom we will serve.

We must lay down our selfish nature and decide to be unselfish.  Most of the time marriage isn’t glamorous.  It is in the “sticktoiveness” that we celebrate oneness.  Best friends maybe, maybe not.  But a friend that speaks the truth in love.  A friend that seeks your best above their own, a friend that will lay down his life for a friend.  That is the kind of true love I have found.

We are reminded in God’s word what true love really looks like and a bench mark to strive for.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth.  it always protects, always trusts, always hopes always preservers.  Love never fails.

May we all strive for true love in our hearts and in our homes!

So here’s to true love.

May you experience it today for yourself.

Holiday’s can be hectic and a bit stressful.  Sometimes we feel compelled t o be someone we’re not because we think others will like us more.  Bottom line is, be YOU.  True friends will like you no matter what….. My mother use to say nothing is cooler than being yourself.  Anyone can be a copy, but only you can be you.

So this Thanksgiving remember to be you. Rich or poor, small house or large, one car or two.  I hope this Thanksgiving Day you Embrace your Life.  It may not be perfect, but what really is anyway.   This is your life. Remember you are special.   Treasure the small things.  Embrace the moment.  Don’t sweat the small stuff.  Let things go and remember life is short.  You do not know where you will be tomorrow. let alone next year.  So savor the moment!

The turkey will get done, the house will look good and really being together is the most important thing any way.  Right.  Sweats or sport coats,  dresses or jeans, who really cares.  It’s about family… It’s about friends.  It’s about Love.  Remember dear friend, you are loved.  Happy
Thanksgiving

Be encouraged!

Love your friend, Corby

To be honest with you, this is a sad story, but is scattered with love, hope, and encouragement.  I pray my story is a blessing to you and if you have found yourself in a similar situation, I also pray it brings you comfort, wisdom and strength.

For the last five years, we watched the slow decay of my parents.  Alzheimer’s was our foe.  At times, for me, it was like watching through a foggy window and staring into someones else’s home.  I would think… this can’t be happening to us, to these amazing people.  At first slowly, and then very quickly, the disease caught up with them and also with us.  I am one of thousands of women that have found themselves in what is being called the sandwich generation.   We are among those who are caring for their young families and now have the responsiblity of caring for their parents, too.   It is sadly, being sandwiched  between two worlds.   At first, it was hard to grasp, as my brother and I do not live near our parents.  Because of the distance between us, we only saw them maybe twice a year.

Each trip brought new subtle hints that things were not quite right.  My father was the master of explaining away these troubling  issues.  Dad would not remember holidays or birthdays.  He began to hide things and forgot to pay bills.  There were big bills, like home insurance and car insurance and heating bills which resulted in neglect.  The red flags just kept coming, but these things were so unlike the man I knew who was always on top of everything.   He was the go-to man.  He was always able to help with just about anything.  He was the primary caregiver for our mother.  We have since learned that it is often the caregiver who is impacted as severely as the patient.

We knew my mother had been declining for about five years.  It grew harder and harder for her to even get up and to get dressed.  She quit painting, then quit driving and was cooking less and less.  As time passed, even communicating became more and more difficult.  I realize that I had  been dealing with the loss of my mother for years.  Though painful, this is the reality. Seeing  my father  begin to suffer mentally at the same time, was simply incomprehensible.  When we realized that, we had to step in.  We tried everything  to assist them without disrupting their lives and dignity.  This was to no avail.

We hired home healthcare nurses who would work for a day or so before being dismissed by my father.  You see, my father’s problem is that he lost all short-term memory.  He was “hard-wired”  as the doctors said, about things he had done all his life.  He could drive, he could shop, he could operate on animals at his veterinary practice, but he could not remember a conversation from an hour ago.  He could not even remember when we were there visiting.   My dad could remember his grandkids’ names, but not that he had lunch with them two hours before.

The nurses would come.  He would get angry and ask why they were there?  He would fire them and then get upset when we told him that was not an option.  He thought my mom was fine.  He was convinced that she was doing  the cleaning, washing , vacuuming and daily taking her pills.  Unfortunately, she wasn’t  and couldn’t do any of those things.  We spent most of the summer of 2008, at their home, trying to help sort everything out and attempt to help them get everything medically and financially in order.  Our problem was, we could not convince my dad that HE was having problems, or that mom needed help other that him.  He would finally agree to accept help and then unfortunately, he would forget that entire conversation within an hour.  We  would be  back to square one.

In September of 2008, we decided to step in and take control.  My dad could not take care of mom, whom we knew needed full-time care.  The disease had altered my father’s personality and he became very paranoid.  My brother went to court and took emergency guardianship. Later, we appeared in court and my brother was granted full and permanent guardianship.  Alzheimer’s left me feeling as if I had been initiated into some type of bizarre club!  It had become necessary to place both my parents in an assisted living facility.    What are the odds of losing both parents to this horrible disease at the same time?

In less than two weeks, we basically dismantled their lives.  Their lives, as they knew it, no longer existed.  We shut down my dad’s fifty-five year veterinary practice that been his pride and joy. We took my mother out of her home and away from all her prized possessions.

It has been one of the saddest experiences of my life.  I realized  that Christmas, Easter and summer vacations would never be the same.  The mere conversations that I once took for granted would now no longer occur.  The simple stuff in life was not so simple anymore.  It is tragic to comprehend that my children will no longer experience their grandparents outside of the nursing home walls.  I have spent the better part of a year holding back the tears that so easily want to come.  Some days, I feel like I’m holding on by a thread.  Thank God, the thread remains strong!

The sons of Thunder have been quick to ask if I am crying.  Even if I just have the sniffles from a cold, they are concerned.  Unfortunately, they have grown used to seeing tears and they know that does not make one weak.  Fortunately,they are quick to give comforting hugs and kisses.  They know things are different, too.  I have tried to shield them from this experience but it really is impossible to do.   My brother and I have had to spend hours on the phone dealing with their care and it always seems to be at the worst times.  The boys have been awesome putting up with this.  My husband has been unbelievable.  He is truly a rock.

My mother has now lost her ability to speak, but her smile and sweet gentle touch remain. She still knows me.  At least she knew me at Christmas ,which was the last time I spent time with her.  We originally had them together, but found it was necessary to put them on separate wards.  See, my dad kept thinking they were at some hotel and wanted to check out and get back to work.  He has no idea what is going on until the nurse “redirects him” as they call it.  My dad continues to have problems accepting what is going on.  He often thinks he is at a meeting or a speaking engagement, which really is just fine with me.  My mom seems content with where she is, and I think she realized what was happening.

It’s been incredibly hard to separate them.  This is not the kind of thing you want for your parents as they approach their 50^th wedding anniversary.  They are allowed see each other once or twice a week.  I continue to remind myself they are safe and well cared for where they are.

They are still the most loving people I have ever known.  My mother was a gifted artist and an amazing prayer warrior.  Everyone went to mom to be prayed for.  She knew no stranger. Dad even had a small church for about 6 years.  They were funny, outgoing and awesome parents.  They loved to entertain, dance and travel.  Our home was always open to friends and family.  The person I am today I attribute to my faith in Jesus, and to their love, encouragement and instruction.  They never failed to instill in me the faith that I could accomplish anything I wanted to do.

I try to look back without regret on the choices we’ve made.  My only regret was we did not intervene sooner.  We were so concerned about not making them angry with us.  We were their children.  They were our parents, but I should not have worried so much about making them mad or intruding on their privacy.  I should have focused more on the fact that they no longer could truly care for themselves.  I would have talked to them much sooner about their health care choices and all the legal issues we have now have had to face.

Although I am a counselor, one of the best decisions I made was to see a counselor myself. There comes a time when family and friends need a break from your sad story.  A trained professional can bring support, perspective and insight.  Ironically, my counselor happened to be living through the same experience with her parents.  Of course, I know that it was no mere accident, but perfectly ordained by the Lord, to put me with just the right person at just the right time.

There are days that I laugh at the fact that I am out sharing this message of Extraordinary Living when I know people may look at my life, with all its heartache, and wonder if the two are incongruent.   I still believe we are called to Live the Extraordinary Life, even in the midst of extraordinary pain.  I know, for certain, that God has a great and mighty plan for each one of us, even in the midst of our suffering.  My parents have had an Extraordinary Life, but that life was taken away by disease.  The spirit of God, however, is still alive and well inside them.  My husband and I remember the wonderful life we have, our precious and wildly wonderful Sons of Thunders, our health, and family.  I firmly believe we should live our lives, right now, today, this minute, this very second.  This very moment deserves our full attention and it should be savored, because it will be gone before we know it.

I thank God for my friends, who have walked this journey with me and have never tired of my story and my pain.  I am grateful for the amazing women in the bible study I lead for two years. The women were, and are, incredible women of God.  I am blessed to have such amazing Godly women friends that have been with me all the way through this. You know who you are!  Words cannot thank you enough for your love prayers and support. 

I am also so thankful for these matriarchal women that I must name, like Carol, Laverne and Sue, who have stepped in to love me as my mother would have if she could have.  These childhood friends’ mothers have been unbelievably supportive.  Carol let me stay with her for three weeks during an emergency trip back and even helped to move my parents to new living quarters with help from my maid of honor, Anna, while Sue and Laverne kept mom occupied.  These are true friends, the ones you can call and who show up at the drop of a hat.  The friends who will even turn the car around in the middle of the raod to go right where you need them to go.  I thank God for my parents’ friends, who visit them faithfully.  They have supported me through encouraging words and have reminded me that my parents would have done this for them. They remind me I am doing the best I can for them and that helps alleviate some of my pain. We should all be so blessed to have those kinds of friends. I am thankful, too, for my husband’s parents who have always treated me more like a daughter than a daughter-in-law. I am truly blessed and so grateful. They provided endless support and words of encouragment that came at such a critical times as well.

I have hung on to the fact that God says that all things work together for good…… God does not say that all things are good, but that He will work them together for good.  There is good in the midst of all of this.  I pray you can see that just as I have come to see it.  My parents are safe, loved, and well cared for.  My mother loves on the nurses with her sweet and gentle spirit and is being enjoyed by those she is around.  My Dad prays for the others in the home and shares Jesus with them.

For me, I have reconnected with so many dear friends throughout this ordeal.  We are now returning to our home state to be closer to my parents and my husband’s family.  This will allow us to be more involved in their care.  My marriage and family is strong. My brother and his family are strong.  We are united together as a family and in our faith.   Best of all, at least for today, my Mom and Dad still know who I am.  So I continue to believe God is still working all things together for His good!