Fluffy Slippers And Pajamas Are Not Shopping Attire

I was shopping about  two years ago when to my amazement I saw a woman stroll past me in her pajama pants and fuzzy slippers! I could not believe my eyes. I did a double-take and a series of thoughts ran through my mind: It was broad daylight; Are you kidding me?; Did I see what I thought I saw?

But I saw it, and it was confirmed by the staring and firing of a myriad of questions from the Sons of Thunder. And I was at a loss for words.

Moments later, another women appeared with wording on her sweat pants; right on her hinny. Words on your rear end? Is that really where you want to draw someone’s eye? Apparently so. The pants were tight beyond belief and her shirt was way, way too short. I took another look and thought, “what is the world coming to?” I must confess I even shook my head in disbelief. I didn’t mean to though, I promise.  

I started this blog more than two years ago, but I got so worked up over the subject matter I had to set it aside for a while on several different occasions. I decided to finish because again, I kept on seeing the same Fashion faux pas.  I am quite passionate about how we are dressing in our country.  I hate to judge people. I really do.  So this blog is not about that.  It is about addressing an issue and finding a solution.  I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.  Judging is right up there with a negative and critical spirit. Really, I mean it. If you have ever spent much time around a negative person, I promise it will teach you to keep your mouth shut. The old adage of “if you don’t have something good to say, then don’t say anything all” is a really good plan of action.

My mother instilled in me the character value of not judging others. She would often point out that I did not know what that other person was going through or what kind of life they had had and so on and so on.  But when I have seen what I have lately, I do not know how to wrap my head around such fashion disasters popping up everywhere.  I confess I have found it hard not to judge.  And even worse, I feel a majority of the blame falls on adults and not on young people.

Have we fallen and smacked our heads? Do we no longer have any self-respect? Do people no longer own mirrors? We have more conveniences than ever before – air conditioning, washing machines and air travel. Years ago, women traveled in stage coaches in 100-plus degree weather and yet still looked spectacular from head to toe. A bit uncomfortable? Yes, probably. But they looked good. Really Good.

I am afraid we can no longer determine what appropriate attire is. And how sad is that? I judged a pageant last year and asked the contestants if it was appropriate to wear pajamas in public. Sheepishly,  many contestants admitted to this fashion trend. Beauty Queens in Pajama in public, the horror of it all. Not in my day, I guarantee it! You wouldn’t have found a queen caught dead in hers, No way, no sir.  But now, pajamas are acceptable in broad daylight anywhere.

Pajamas are one thing, but having your breasts spilling out all over the place, and in church no less, is even worse. Pray tell what is the church coming to? Maybe that is why church attendance is up in some churches and all the men are smiling.  I’m sorry, I just had to say that.  As you can tell, this really gets my goat – as they say in Oklahoma. Why aren’t more women thinking about what is proper in front of men in the congregation instead of offering a peep show at the altar?

I had a pastor say to me once “no one knows what or how to tell the women that their attire is inappropriate.”  No one should have to, especially if they are older women – they should lead by example. I hate to say what I have seen some of the elementary girls wearing to church. And that means their mothers let them walk out the door dressed like that.  I saw a young teen in church and her skirt barely covering her hinny. Oh please.  “Winters” commented too.  How could he not notice.  I sure did. And so did the rest of the church.

Personally, I think it is wrong when women in church go to the altar to pray and their pants ride down so far you can practically see their underwear. Been there and seen that and I can guarantee what the men are thinking and it is not about the Jesus.  Shame on us. This is a trend that is happening all over the country and frankly, it is tragic. Where have all the ladies gone?  What happened to class, sophistication and style?  I know they are not gone completely, but they sure have taken a backseat to something else.

Now let me say I am not a prude. I am a bit conservative especially the older I have gotten, but I have  friends who are far more conservative than me.  I am also a bit of a fabulosofashionisto. Not sure if that is even a word, but basically I love fashion! LOVE IT!  I suppose that is why “Winters” calls me the The Little Black Dress. The bottom line is that I love to dress up. “Winters,” the Sons of Thunder and my sacred few friends can all attest to this.

I even have a few friends who tease me for my over sized big black hats I sport to the pool each summer. Those hats are truly to protect my experienced, delicate skin.  At least that is how my Esthetician describes my skin. I much prefer experienced or delicate over mature or old, don’t you?  I do love those fabulous hats though.  If you don’t have one they are perfect summer accessory.

When we lived in Alaska, we would throw parties just so we could all get dressed up. It was so much fun. Everyone had a great time pulling out their favorite attire and especially me and my Little black Dress.  Once I went to the landfill on a quick unplanned excursion. The guy who ran it said something like, “You came to the dump awfully dressed up today.”

I guess a knockout pair of shoes, pearls, a camel skirt and nicely sweater tied over my shoulders were not dump attire.  Well, maybe for the Little Black Dress. I guess you have to draw the line in the sand somewhere. Clearly there is a time and a place for everything. Even the Little Black Dress must remember that.

But I also love to dress down. I am crazy about my good old pair of black sweatpants. Frankly, when the last favorite pair wore out I thought I just might cry. Of course “Winters” was thrilled and has threaten to throw them out a time or two, but to no avail!   It’s all about what is proper and appropriate for the time and place. I don’t mind flip flops at church, but never at the White House. And I like ripped jeans as much as anyone, but not on the Sons of Thunder when they go to school or church.
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I know that I am not alone in my love for fashion and trying to dress well.  I see many women who do.  Putting on their best fashions and just embracing life with gusto.  So you Go Girls!  And kudos to you!

But unfortunately, I am afraid we as a nation have lost so much self-respect and integrity that we can’t remember how to dress appropriately in public. Some might say we don’t care anymore. One of my dear American friends who now lives in France said Europeans would never be caught dead wearing what some of the Americans do.  They have far too much concern about looking good. They also care what other people think.

I do believe some care and care a lot. Young people sure do.  That is why they are trying so hard to fit in.  They want the latest fashion trends like North Face jackets, the right tennis shoes and everything else. They care all right. Young people are looking for role models and where are they? Let’s be honest.  We  know right where they are –  in Hollywood and the sports fields. And they are some of the worst dressers around. Trying to be different, trying to be hip. Role models are also at home in the kitchen, in the car pool line and working on computers at their everyday job.  We are the role models.  Everyday people like you and me. We set the bar and the example for young people to follow.

What messages are we sending our young people and even our very own children? What makes it hard for me is I am trying to teach young women and young men to set a new standard and yet what do they see, who do they look up to?  After I spoke  at a church event a parent came to me and said, “Well, I guess I will have to stop wearing my pajamas to the store.” I said in a agreeing tone, YES!

Now I have had my share of fashion blunders, and some were pretty bad. Black satin pants in 1978, made famous by Olivia Newton John in Grease, that my mother actually let me wear to school.  I really wish she had said no.  A big, wacky perm in the Fall of 1983, a huge, huge regret and I wish my hair dresser had said no.  And then there were the really short skirts in the 1990s, but at least I didn’t wear them to church.  However, I am afraid I have to admit I attended a funeral in one. Never forgot that poor decision. Wish I had taken a glance in the mirror and said no.

I’ve made mistakes, but the point is I’ve tried to learned from them.  My love for fashion and beauty has made me a student of  the classic and timeless styles.  There is a difference between indulging in the latest fashion trend and making fashion disasters – like wearing pajamas as shopping attire. You don’t have to have a lot of money or even time to put together an appropriate and great look!

But to me, there really are two issues here. First, what is inappropriate for the time and place and second, what is inappropriate anywhere, anytime, anyplace.

From bras becoming an accessory to show off to the infamous muffin tops, what will we see next?  What is even worse is that we are raising a generation that thinks this is appropriate.  What moms and dads are doing, children are doing. That’s just the way it is.  I’m not saying we should go back to the 1800’s, but when a man’s pants are falling down because they are riding so low on his hinny that his underwear is showing and he just can’t keep them up without holding them with one of his hands, something’s got to give. I witnessed this just the other day at a local restaurant.

And when a woman’s skirt is so short, you don’t know if it might actually be a long shirt, something is out of balance.  Call me a prude if you want, but this is simply sad to me. Maybe we need the fashion police, or Stacy and Clinton from What Not To Wear to roam the countryside and implement a new standard.  We need something and we need it fast.

As one of my sacred few friends who is like a mom to me once said when we witnessed just such a sight together, “there are a things that are just for your husband to appreciate,  but they are not for anyone else to see.”  How wise she was.  How do we train up young men and women with self-respect, integrity, purity and good old modesty in a society that is almost devoid of  it?  We must think about the image we are presenting to those around us and even to our children.

Think twice ladies and gentlemen.  Think twice before you even leave the house.  Look in the mirror and ask yourself   “Is this appropriate” and “how do I look”  At careerbuilders.com there was a recent post called What Not To Wear-Five Interview Attire Don’ts.  The last was called Don’t Avoid The Mirror. Hallelujah!   So I am not the only one stressing the importance of a double take.

When I speak to the students in schools all over the country, one of the first things I tell them is this: The world judges you by the way you look and dress, by the way you talk and by the way you act. Right or wrong, good or bad. It is just a fact. We must help young people make good choices and the proper standard starts with us. The world is going to judge them.  Whether it be a future employer, a University admissions officer or even potential in-Laws; so we must raise the bar and help this generation make good choices.

Starting today, I would love everyone who is a role model to raise the fashion awareness bar and set a new standard for future generations. I was never that fond of the word modesty, but right now it sounds pretty fabulous to me. We need to do something, and do it quick.  Setting a good example ourselves  is a great place to start.

May we value integrity, sophistication and self-worth! May we vow to raise real men and women of God, who are true ladies and gentleman. May we teach them to take pride in themselves. And those who really know how to dress, speak and act well.  And may the world stand back and appreciate the style and class of this new generation of young people.