Grief Waits For You

Grief is a funny thing.  You need it, but you don’t always want it. And you really can’t skip it either. However, you are not always sure when grief will come.  But it will come.  Be patient because it is patient.

It is a  process.  A much-needed process for almost all human beings.  Some of us try to skip it,  just move on past it without dealing with it, grief that is.  But grief waits for you. It is patient and it simply waits.  It waits until you are ready to make the journey.

So many of us want to ignore it and some have tried  hard to skip right past grief.  But few have done it successfully.

For most of us we must simply walk through it, sometimes we are ready and sometimes we are not.

It is as though grief takes one hand and Jesus the other and you begin to walk together through the pain, through the memories and through the tears.  

How you grieve doesn’t matter so much as the fact that you do grieve. How you grieve is really up to you. No one else can tell you how to do it, when to do it, where to do or even how long to do it.

It is your grief and it is your pain alone to process.

Yours alone, my friend, and grief is like a patient friend who waits for you. Just waiting for the right moment to help you through your sorrow.

I am sure that there are those who think I haven’t grieved enough and others who think I have grieved far too much over the events of the last  four years. I know because I have been given much feedback about my grief.

What others think really doesn’t matter though. Whether they are right or wrong is really not the issue at all. It is about the one grieving the loss of the one that is gone forever.

I have learned this year that the beautiful thing about grief is it waits for you … Yes, it waits in the recesses of your heart until you are ready to make the journey. We do not just grieve once and it is over. No, not at all.  It is a process that ebbs and flows like the tide.

It is a though we stop at the bend in the road for a brief moment. We stop for a respite.  Just for a  moment so the pain and grief may wash over us. We stop to feel the deep hurt and loss we have been holding back for so long like that of a huge dam keeping the  flood gates closed.

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But grief waits for you and when you are ready, then you may grieve.

The deep sadness we feel from death, abandonment, rejection, or even the death of a simple dream are each so deserving of  grieving.

I picked up an article not to long  ago that said the death of a loved one is like having a huge gaping wound that you are trying to care for all by yourself.  Well, that explains a lot doesn’t it? A wound so deep you can hardly comprehend it.

But what about those times that we must carry on?  Sometimes there is simply no time to grieve.  There are things to be done and life must keep going  on whether we like it or not. It would be nice to put life on hold so we could just let it all go, the pain, the hurt, the grief. We just want to escape. But that is not very realistic.  Let’s be honest, we must carry on. We just have to.

When you are grieving someone you love with Alzheimer’s, you grieve often.  You grieve many times over and over before your loved one ever actually leaves this world and then you grieve again when they finally do.

But like any loss, waves of grief and sadness find their way into your heart more than you ever thought possible.

Not to long ago, I read a great article by a women whose friend had died from complications of  Alzheimer’s.  It was a huge emotional outlet.   The tears flowed for my mom and for my dad and for every other loss I have ever had these last few years.

So for me, I grieve when I can, but this particular cry was long, quite and comforting.  It was unexpected, but obviously much-needed.

I needed to cry. I needed to grieve and so grief waited for me and on that day as I read that article, grief took one hand and Jesus the other and we journeyed through the process of  saying goodbye once again.

Grief waits for us when, you alone are ready.  It simply waits….. until the moment is right and you are ready to do whatever you need to do.

Be blessed and encouraged abundantly today and remember that grief  and our Lord and Savior wait patiently for you.