Teen Tuesdays ~ Whose Stress Is Worse Stress?

So yesterday the youngest SON and I got into a discussion and were talking about STRESS.  The SONS had all made a comment earlier in the week which was, “We don’t like it when you say we don’t have stress because we do have stress in our lives.”  Now the SONs are 10, 13, 15 years old.

I recall saying, “Yes, you are right.  You do have stress and I am sorry we have ever said that you don’t.”  I went on to say something like this, adults have stress and teens have stress, it is just that adult stress is different from teen stress. But it is still stress and it doesn’t mean that your stress is any less stressful than our stress. Then I ask him, “Does that sound right?”

He gave me a confused look and said, can you say that once again?  I said well, I am not sure but I will try.  So I said it again and rephrased it some.

He said, Mom, let me rephrase that a bit.  He tried too and then said, “Mom, just go with you said.  It may be a bit confusing but it is right on target.”  He then said, “Kids have stress.  We deal with school, dating, bullying, handling advanced classes, making good grades and well, we have lots of  stuff. Mom, we stress out too.”  Who would have  necessarily thought a ten-year old would have so much stuff he was stressed too.

It is funny isn’t that we sometimes forget that we all have stress no matter our age.  But it is easy to be a bit unclear on stress. our stress, our kids’ stress, our families’ stress, the world’s stress and the stress we all feel coming at us each and every single day.  And sometimes teens and parents can’t agree on whose life is harder and more stressful.  I often say to the SONS, “this is not a competition on who had the harder day and who has the most stress.”  Once again we must remember that parents and teens alike all have stress – it is just a different stress.

As our youngest said, I may be 10 but I have stress.  Yes, as parents it can be easy, unfortunately, to dismiss and even ignore the stressors in our tween and teens’ lives.  They have much facing them these days, relentless bullying, careers to think about, grades to keep up, divorced parents, purity choices and the list goes on and on.  Worst yet is that often teens think we as parents don’t understand.  I pray that as parents we are all trying to understand.  I also pray we are seeking God to help us raise these precious gifts in our lives.

As adults we have mortgages, car payments, insurance, household bills, food to put on the table,  and on top of that the average cost to raise a child is $241,080. until the age of 18 years old  and this does not even included college.  Ok, that is some crazy stressful stuff for parents to wrap their heads around in an economy that is uncertain.  The great news is that we operate in God’s economy and our trust is in Him for provision and to use our talents and gifting to make a living for our families.

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And to any tween and teens reading this, please tell us when you feel stressed out.  Please forgive us if we seem insensitive to the stress in your life.  Please help us help you, by asking us for help.  We are, believe it or not, on your side.  We want to help you deal with the stressors in your life.  Please remember we are all human and as parents we will make mistakes. That is why we are so grateful for grace.  We hope you will understand our stress too.

The truth is we all have stress.

I must remember my crazy quote, “Adults have stress and teens have stress. It is just that adults’ stress is different from tween and teens stress; but it is still stress and it doesn’t mean that your stress is any less stressful than our stress.”

May we always remember to savor the moment for life is short, even on Planet Puberty but it is indeed a wonderful planet! And to our tweens and teens please be patient with with us and remember we love you.

Be blessed and encouraged abundantly my fellow leaders as we live life in our passion, purpose and parenting!