Teen Tuesdays ~ Poor Timing? Maybe “But Maybe Not…

Recently, the middle SON decided he wanted to rearrange his room.

He had just re~arranged it about 6 months earlier. But he wanted just the right look, and I can understand it.

That first time when the Middle SON wanted to rearrange his room it seemed impossible to achieve with the amount of furniture he had.  Sadly, I blurted out, “that will not work” and before I knew it, the damage was done. Obviously, it was not the most supportive moment I have had.

The Middle SON gave me the whole, “You don’t care about my opinion”, “I am smart” and “It will work.”  And so re-thinking my comment I said, “I am sorry, you make great choices, so go for it.”  Changing his room was not on my radar, nor a top priority to me.  However, it was to  him and it turned out to be a great decision  whether the timing was right  not.

So once again the SONs were ready to redesign their rooms, but this time it was about midnight.

They had decided it was time to redecorate and purge their plethora of books, toys, and clothes.   I was tired, and simply said “Go for it.”  But the next morning I wakened to a disaster.  I was regretting my “Go for it” comment in the wee hours of the morning.

The Middle SON wanted the more streamlined and minimalist look.  That’s not my look, that’s their dad’s.  I tend to go for the ” more is more” look, not the less is great look.   So Winters was thrilled with the word “less” and I was thinking where is all the “MORE,” going to go?  The key word to Winters is “gone”- and where, he did not care.

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Then I moved to the Youngest SON’S room.  He was ready for less rather than more as well.  I had to ask myself, “Whose children are these anyway?

Less is a great thing and it can mean more … More time to play and not pick up all the excess stuff.  More things to give away and bless others in need of our stuff.  But the best part  is that it can also mean allowing teens to make choices in how they live in their space.  Tweens and teens alike can often feel they have little or no control  over their lives.  So by allowing them a have a say about the style and what is in their room naturally empowers them. It gives them a sense of power and control, and hey, you may get a clean, less cluttered bedroom out of it.

One of the  best ways to teach our tweens and  teens to become more independent is to empower them with opportunities to make their own decisions,  The style of a bedroom is a great place to start.  It becomes their space and they take can take pride and ownership in it.  When we feel we actually own something and it is ours then we naturally take better care of it.  These are all great things for a tweens and teens to learn. Think of it this way – it starts with a room, then a car and then a house, then a spouse and a family of their own.

Life lessons start at home.